Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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