Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
