Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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