I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
