ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
