That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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