$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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