I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
PS: I just woke up from my shower
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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