He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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