feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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