i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
