Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
