so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
