he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
