Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
