Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
