you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
