So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
