Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can't put those talents on a resume
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
