So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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