Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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