My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
