i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
