my vag is so smooth its legendary
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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