We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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