Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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