six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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