actually, I'm a sock model
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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