i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
