i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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