Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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