Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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