Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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