Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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