i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
