who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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