I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
