I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
bring money and cleavage
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
