she woke up with a sticky ear
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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