normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
