the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
