yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
