On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
