ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
