You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
