Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
