Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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