Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Send help, water and tortillas.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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