My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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