and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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