Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
