You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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