She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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