I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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