i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
